Nostalgia, Meaning, and Misty Eyes

Today I returned to church after a long absence. A bumpy path in life combined with conflicting schedules has made it difficult to attend. We made a brief appearance out of hiding in December for the Christmas pageant, primarily because my 8-year-old daughter begged to be able to take part. Knowing how important it was to her I couldn’t turn her down – what on earth would I have said? “No, honey, you can’t participate in celebrating the birth of Jesus because Mom’s too busy and needs to sleep in?”

But then after the pageant passed, I was off the wagon again. Soccer games most Sunday mornings and pure exhaustion and desire to not leave the house the rest. Even Christmas Eve and Easter went without formal observation in church.

I know in our day and age it’s not uncommon to NOT attend church. In fact I’m sure there are plenty of lovely, high-achieving families who might not even belong to a church, temple, mosque, or other organized place of worship. Continue reading »


Embracing Feeling Memory

God has made me a sensitive person. I am sensing and feeling all the time. Why? And despite such acute sensations and emotions, I seem to have a shortage of memory, a certain lack of sharpness. Precision, at least in the traditional sense, is not there.

I feel, not count. I keep a poor catalog of events. My memories seem instead a loose collection of impressions. Triggered not by mention of a date, or era, or event, but rather by an experience or a sensation. Something that runs parallel and recalls the memory of my past feeling. Recalling the experience of sensation or emotion rather than a story. Continue reading »